Sunday, August 23, 2009

Encouraging Isderf

Okay all you smart-alecks and computer geeks, this is my only warning. You will not get another one and retribution will follow swiftly. I admit, I don’t know what type of retribution, but I know enough of your wives (or how to get in contact with them) to make your life very difficult.

As for my warning… STOP ENCOURAGING ISDERF. Geez guys, what do you think this is… does everyone think that Isderf NEEDS more to do? Or is it that you KNOW your own wives wouldn’t let you do something, so you’re trying to live vicariously through my husband? And don’t even TRY to wiggle out of this one. I know most of you out there are saying, “What? Who me? I didn’t do anything.”

Yah right. Who…

-introduced him to

-found his second microwave for his welder?

-volunteered to let him shoot the first round after learning to reload together?

-stood six feet away while Isderf poured more gasoline on his furnace (after the lighter fluid didn’t work well enough)?

- sent him Angband and ruined most of my evenings from that point on?

- keeps sending him links to old trailers he can refurbish, or greenhouses he can build?

-encouraged him to take Warhammer to work?

-reintroduced him to a Rubix cube (that’s so 80’s)?

-keeps giving him broken appliances and lawn equipment so he can take them apart?

-brings him chunks of trees for his various projects?

-encouraged him to spend weeks reading, and viewing, everything on butchering his own animal?

-brought him a deer hide when he mentioned he wanted to make his own shoes?

-decided they should give hunting a try?

And I can’t think of anymore right now, but I’m sure you get my point. He gets into enough trouble on his own (with his kids right beside him), he doesn’t need the encouragement. Thank you very much…

Isderf thinks I should give a few examples of how he gets into trouble on his own. I believe he thought I wouldn’t be able to come up with many. After writing for about 10 minutes, I realized that I had enough for another blog on just that subject. So stay tuned.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Kids Do The Darnest Things

It never ceases to amaze me the things children will do. They’ll not only do things that are amazing, dangerous, and totally illogical, but they’ll have a really good explanation for it too. Okay, maybe their explanations aren’t really good, but in their own childish logical it does make some sense.

For example the other day, my 5 year old daughter came running up the stairs half hysterical. She was crying and yelling and pointing to her nose and saying her brother’s name over and over. After a few minutes of blubbering and pointing, I figured out there was something up her nose. And, it appears; her brother had put it there.

Now, yes, I was concerned about an object being shoved up her nose, but I was also wondering how it got there (and trying not to laugh in the process). It seems, from her hysterical comments, that her younger brother shoved a toy tire up her nose. At this point I’m trying really hard not to laugh in her face, but she outweighs her brother by 15 pounds! I’m having a hard time imagining this and her main concern is whether she has to go to the hospital.

So I ask her, “Why did you let N put a tire up your nose,” as I’m examining the packed nostril.

J: “I didn’t.”

Me: “So how did he get it up your nose?”

J: “I was lying there and he shoved it up my nose.”

Me: “J, didn’t you tell him no?”

J: “Yes, but he did it anyways.”

Me: “So you just laid there and let him shove it up your nose?”

J: “Uhm… No. Do I have to go to the hospital? I don’t want to go..” And more blubbering ensues.

I hand her a tissue and close the other nostril with my fingers, after she blows the tire across the room (just cause mom gives you a tissue and asks you to blow, doesn’t mean you USE the tissue!). While we are searching out the snot covered tire, it eventually comes out that she shoved the tire up her nose (surprise, surprise). I send her off to play with the threat of a hospital visit and really big pliers up the nose if she does it again. As threats go, it seems to be a good one and she appears to be properly impressed. I foresee no more objects up J’s nose. Now N is another matter all together and I’m betting that when he says J shoved it up his nose, he’ll probably be right.