Kids Do The Darnest Things

It never ceases to amaze me the things children will do. They’ll not only do things that are amazing, dangerous, and totally illogical, but they’ll have a really good explanation for it too. Okay, maybe their explanations aren’t really good, but in their own childish logical it does make some sense.

For example the other day, my 5 year old daughter came running up the stairs half hysterical. She was crying and yelling and pointing to her nose and saying her brother’s name over and over. After a few minutes of blubbering and pointing, I figured out there was something up her nose. And, it appears; her brother had put it there.

Now, yes, I was concerned about an object being shoved up her nose, but I was also wondering how it got there (and trying not to laugh in the process). It seems, from her hysterical comments, that her younger brother shoved a toy tire up her nose. At this point I’m trying really hard not to laugh in her face, but she outweighs her brother by 15 pounds! I’m having a hard time imagining this and her main concern is whether she has to go to the hospital.

So I ask her, “Why did you let N put a tire up your nose,” as I’m examining the packed nostril.

J: “I didn’t.”

Me: “So how did he get it up your nose?”

J: “I was lying there and he shoved it up my nose.”

Me: “J, didn’t you tell him no?”

J: “Yes, but he did it anyways.”

Me: “So you just laid there and let him shove it up your nose?”

J: “Uhm… No. Do I have to go to the hospital? I don’t want to go..” And more blubbering ensues.

I hand her a tissue and close the other nostril with my fingers, after she blows the tire across the room (just cause mom gives you a tissue and asks you to blow, doesn’t mean you USE the tissue!). While we are searching out the snot covered tire, it eventually comes out that she shoved the tire up her nose (surprise, surprise). I send her off to play with the threat of a hospital visit and really big pliers up the nose if she does it again. As threats go, it seems to be a good one and she appears to be properly impressed. I foresee no more objects up J’s nose. Now N is another matter all together and I’m betting that when he says J shoved it up his nose, he’ll probably be right.