Saturday, March 20, 2010

Don’t Try This At Home

Last year I received an email from a friend, directing me to a link. Now she went to high school with both Isderf and myself and has been in touch since, so she knew how appropriate this link was.

The link went to a t-shirt for sale. It had a stick figure on fire and said “I tried it at home.”

My friend just knew that Isderf needed this t-shirt. So for Father’s Day, the kids and I bought him that shirt (see pic on left).

Since then, he’s worn it to work and various family functions. Everyone laughs and just shakes their head, cause they know it’s SO Isderf.

So today, I’m posting a picture of that shirt because once again, he’s proven how appropriate it is.

I was cleaning out my junk drawer the other day and found an old tube of pepper spray. Now this tube has to be about 15 years olds so I wasn’t sure how well it would work and I was kind of wary of having it in the home with young kids. Being the responsible parent/adult in the relationship, I ask Isderf, “Do you think we should keep this or put it out for the hazardous waste pickup?” (Okay, so at this point, most of you are probably wondering why I even asked him - I think I was having a brain blip that day. Any other day I would have just hidden it and never mentioned it again.)

So how does my spouse reply?

A) “Of course hon, it’s so old it might not work and it’s dangerous with the kids around. I’ll take it up to the hazardous waste pickup.”

B) “Nah, it probably doesn’t work. Let’s just throw it away.”

C) “Hmm… It’s pretty old. I’m betting it doesn’t work. You, ah, wanted this door shut right?” Then he closes the door in my face and disappears. And having that sudden brain blip straighten itself out, I grab the camera and sneak out with him…

Okay, if you’ve read any of my other Isderf Blogs, you know that the answer has to be C and that whatever he has planned; it’s probably not good. I know that he took the tube a little too quickly and then shut the door a little too fast. He definitely wanted me out of the way for whatever he was doing - and I was worried about the kids!

Being the good wife that I am, I always grab the camera first and ask questions later. I mean, if he can’t figure out the bad consequences of actions like these, then I guess hands on learning will have to help.

Unfortunately, he also knows me too well and took that tube with him behind the kids swing set, where I couldn’t get a good picture.

According to him, he sprayed some at the ground and since that didn’t give him the reaction he was hoping for - like there should get a GOOD reaction? - he sprayed it in the air. At that time, the wind shifted and guess what? Well the pepper spray was still good! He got a face full of the stuff.

I saw the puff in the air and then Isderf came running back from behind the swing set coughing and spitting and hanging his head.

Okay, I WAS concerned, I know that this stuff can cause breathing difficulties and a whole host of bad reactions. But it’s hard to really show that concern when you’re trying to hold yourself up and breath through the laughter. Then I started worrying about MY health, cause he didn’t look too happy.

Well, after a few minutes of washing his face and drinking some water, he was fine. And that tube of pepper spray, it went into the trash.

It only took about 15 minutes and everything was back to normal. Normal enough for him to have forgotten the ill effects and start believing that he could probably take a full blast to the face, cause of course he’s has a face full of tear gas - like 10 years ago. This time, he listened when I said it needed to stay in the trash, at least I hope he did.

Yes, I know it’s scary… but we’ve lived - so far.

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